Recently I had a conversation with a friend who I lost touch with over the past few years. There were a lot of frivolous things that came up throughout our friendship that made me believe she wasn't a "true" friend. Actually as I type this, I realize this has happened to me with a few friends because I hold people to a high standard. If they don't meet that standard, I find a few reasons they don't belong in my life when realistically no person I meet is going to be perfect. I have always had a hard time letting the little things go. The older I get and the more I learn from those wiser than me, the more I realize there's a method to letting shit go.
1. Recognize there's something to let go.
When there's a situation you feel is best to apologize for or engage with another individual on, you have to recognize it first. Sometimes it happens the morning after a night of drinking and other times, it happens years later. Sometimes it may never happen, but recognizing there's something to forgive or let go is the first step.
I'm notorious for telling someone they've upset me. One of my good friends, who is also a coworker, completely forgot my birthday. I invited him to my birthday happy hour and dinner and he not only forgot to wish me a happy birthday, but he never told me if he was coming or not to the birthday event. When the appropriate time came, I let him know it was upsetting that he forgot which made him feel really bad but he didn't even know it was upsetting to me because he had so much going on in his life. Sometimes people don't even realize they've upset you, which is a whole separate issue, but it's important to vocalize some of these instances because otherwise an individual cannot improve or remedy the situation.
3. Really let go.
After you've hashed it out with the individual, it's good to really let it go. I am a person to talk it out, but still let it linger in my mind and judge the person's future decisions because of this event that I pretended to "let go." Just give it a rest and truly erase it from your memory because otherwise, you'll be holding on to that grudge for a long time and it will affect your relationship with the individual and more importantly, your own happiness.
4. Don't procrastinate.
The more serious conversations I've had with people around me, the more I think the most important thing is to be mature, recognize a situation right away and nip the situation in the butt sooner than later. That way these awkward scenarios don't wait for years to pass by. If someone has really wronged you, it's different, but for the most part people do little shit that shouldn't put them on our "do not call" list because it's ridiculous. People make mistakes and it's important to forgive them and give a second chance.