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Why You Need a Blogging BFF
When I started this blogging journey almost five years ago, I didn't have any blogging friends. I still don't in Tucson. However, over time I made friends from all over the world. It was incredible to chat and meet so many different kinds of girls who were incredible writers, self-motivated and just general badasses. Over time, you realize some people jive better with your life choices and are genuinely good people. This is when you have to ensure you have this person as part of your life long-term life.
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I met Tonya over two years ago, and she was trying to make a connection with me. Back then, I didn't know my head from my ass so I was not the most engaging person and I trusted no one.
Over the past few years, Tonya has taught me a lot about who I am and what my strengths and weaknesses are.
Don't let anyone take advantage of you.
Whether it's a brand, or someone in my real life, you should fight for your respect if people won't give it to you. Tonya taught me this. This doesn't mean we should be defensive in every scenario, but when someone is treating you or someone you care/love with disrespect, you need to set them straight and tell them how it's going to be.
Tell people what you want.
Especially in the blogging business and because it's still a fairly new industry, it's hard for brands and others to know exactly what you want. If you don't tell them, you can't fault them for not guessing your wants properly. Once you tell them, and they decided not to accept, then you make a decision. However, you can't assume every brand knows exactly what you're talking about when it comes to a collaboration or an opportunity of some kind.
Make the best of a bad situation.
Ever since I started blogging, Tonya has helped me make the best of every shitty situation that's handed to me. Whether I don't get into a campaign I was qualified for, or if a blogger tries to cause drama with me, Tonya has continuously helped me understand that most of people's actions have nothing to do with me. It is a reflection of themselves. This is one of the best pieces of advice, because I always assume someone has an issue with me, but realistically people have a lot of insecurities when it comes to themselves and this is why they cause grief in someone else's life.
While sometimes we are both erratic, she has taught me to be more patient and ask the right questions. Sometimes the person on the other end doesn't know what you are communicating, or what your end goal is. It's no fault of their own. People can't read minds, and it's important to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. We have no idea what's going on with anyone's day, and Tonya has helped me realize this. Whether it's a brand or another blogger, she encourages me to be mindful and just think about the other person's day.
I still have some serious work to do here, but I'm definitely getting better.
Half the people in this industry are trying to leech off of someone else. They request contacts, brand connections, PR company VPs, loop giveaway hosts and more, but the important thing is knowing who to help and who to ignore. Some people will become your friend, others will help you when you need something down the road, and finally others, will just take advantage until you realize what's actually happening.
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Do a good thing.
Tonya is one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I've ever met. She donates to causes, rescues from the pound, and then tells others to participate in good causes too. This is infinitely important because someone spreading that kind of positivity is definitely someone we need in our lives. Positivity is such an important element, and it's something we all lack from time to time. I have to be honest because I've been negative in many instances in the past, and it's definitely not something I'm proud of, but this is why we have a divide. Tonya has helped me become more positive and see all sides before I choose the "dark side."
Smile, even when you're pissed AF.
This is definitely one of my favorites because I tend not to smile when shit goes awry, but it's even more important in that scenario. Smile when you're angry. Smile when you're frustrated. Especially if you're in a public scenario. Smile about it, and then reflect afterwards. You don't need to make a scene publicly to get your point across. You can find several ways to do that eloquently.
Someone who understands your job.
Not only has Tonya taught me a lot, but it's so important to have someone who understands your profession and the difficulty of the job on a day to day basis. This is why its so important to know, trust and respect someone in the same field as you. I am so thankful for Tonya and all she has taught me.
But most importantly, I am thankful for her friendship. I know that she will be there for me, as she was in instances before we were even good friends. You get a feeling about people, and I knew from the beginning that Tonya was a good person.
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We have been rocking rompers, like it's nobody's business. Especially since NYFW in the fall. They cover most of the body. I will say it's all fun and games with rompers and jumpsuits, UNTIL you have to pee. You were thinking it too.