How to Get Over Heartbreak

I am wearing a white crop top, with light blue denim shorts, holding a lilac bucket bag.

How to Get Over Heartbreak

August 28, 2018

One of the toughest things to get through in life. Heartbreak. It literally feels like your heart is going to stop because you feel so much emotion. Mainly sadness. & for that, I do apologize to you and your situation. If you're experiencing heartbreak right now, I am so so sorry. Whether it was you who ended it or vice versa, it is just not pleasant. It doesn't matter if you end it, you still have the gut-wrenching feeling in your stomach. If it came as a surprise, you may have trouble breathing. Me? Well back in 2012, it came as a surprise. I assumed a few days of a "break" to "think about things" would mean he'd come back missing me and wanting to make things right, but unfortunately that was not the case. He said we should go our separate paths. I stay in Arizona, he stay in California. Honestly, I wasn't expecting it at all. Blind-sided as they say on the Bachelor. Completely. Remembering the day makes me so sad, even to this day. You never forget that gut-wrenching feeling. The heat takes over your body, you throw up, you cry for hours. Then the headache starts to sink in because of all the crying. Ugh, it's an awful sequence of events. I remember feeling sick to my stomach for two weeks straight with no end in sight. I remember not wanting to go out, not wanting to socialize. It's the absolute worst. Girl, I feel you. I've been there. Seems like you'll never be okay again, but you will be fine. I promise. Here's 5 things that help tremendously.

1. Pets. 

When it comes to company, pets are the most amazing. They genuinely make us feel better about everything. Not only that, but they are so receptive to the feelings we have. After I got my wisdom teeth pulled, I stayed home for a week. The first two days were miserable, and I cried so much from sheer pain. Pain medication makes me physically sick so I had to take ibuprofen, and the pain from wisdom teeth being pulled is more than ibuprofen can mask. While I was crying, our beautiful cat came to me and consoled me. She knew something was wrong and she didn't leave my side ALL day. It really does help if you have a dog or cat!

2. Family & Friends.

One of the main things that helped me get through my breakup were my family and friends. All the ladies who had loved my boyfriend were now the ones consoling me, wanting to take me out for a night out, and helping make sure I ate food the weeks after. They kept me busy, keep my mind occupied so I didn't constantly think about what I was missing, and also helped me see that my life was amazing with or without any man. They helped me get through the toughest times. Those of you who married your high school sweetheart are so incredibly lucky. You probably didn't witness heartbreak and for that, you are beyond lucky. Let's be honest. Heartbreak doesn't happen before high school. You're too young to really know what love is and understand it. Just saying!

3. Self Confidence

I know, I know. If you're broken up with, your self confidence goes down the drain. My biggest heartbreak luckily didn't melt my confidence. I'm about to get very real with you. He was a gem. One of the nicest guys who ever crossed my paths. Always opened the door for me, never said a single bad thing to me or about me to anyone. Our fights were truly non-existent until I went back to college and we were long-distance, because distance doesn't make the heart grow fonder. It makes the heart weak and angry. To all the couples doing long-distance for various reasons (like deployment) I genuinely commend you. It is hard. We had a lot of discussions due to the long distance, and not being able to see eachother more than once a month (if that) and it's just so hard to do that when you just want to spend all the time in the world with the person you love. You don't get frustrated out of hate, it's all out of love and this was our demise. Distance. This is specifically why my self confidence never took a dip. I knew my body, my heart, my emotions, my love... none of it had anything to do with the breakup. It was the sheer distance of 600 miles that separated us and caused other problems. In most cases, we say things we don't mean and those words tear us apart but not in my particular cause. I've had relationships where the other person has said some of the worst possible things about me, in the heat of a breakup. Don't ever let that define you or steer you from your path, because you're none of the things someone says, especially not when they're angry and hurt. Knowing you are worthy of love, and that you will find your person, is one of the biggest boosts of confidence. It's not you that's wrong, it's simply that that particular relationship did not work out between you and the other person. Keep your chin up, don't let your self confidence take a nose dive because you are more than worthy of being loved. We all are.

4. School or Work

This is a responsibility, but shockingly enough, you get more invested in whatever it is you were doing once you're broken up. Typically during a relationship, you tend to let your grades slip, you may show up to work late a few times, and so forth. Once you're broken up, none of that seems to happen. The most single person in their 20s is usually the one on time and super early to work. I'm just saying. When you're spending a few extra minutes here and there in your relationship, other parts of your life take a hit. You don't feel it until you don't have that significant other in your life. Once I was single, I was early to class, participating more, I'd show up to work 30 minutes early and see if I could start my shift early, and I'd also try to stay late. An extra hour of pay was worth it to me. I didn't have anyone to call or anyone to be with, so why not? Work and school is a great distraction. Truly. It helped me get through the worst of it.

5. Hobby.

If school or work doesn't take up your time, I always suggest a hobby. I've always loved being busy, and during my senior year of college, single little me wanted to find another avenue of creativity to occupy my mind. This is how the blog came together in January of 2013. There is something to be said for hobbies started to occupy our minds, and then those that take off into being full-fledged careers. Find a hobby. Learn to cook. Learn to crochet. Make a book club. Join a book club Whatever you may enjoy, now's the time to go out and get involved or make it happen. It will help the time pass for your heart, but it will also be a fun release for you. 

This is a side profile close up of me looking to the left and smiling at the camera in a white crop top and denim shorts.

What ways have you dealt with heartbreak in the past?