Why It’s Taken Us So Long to Pick a Wedding Date

This is a photo of me wearing a green dress with white polka dots, while reaching for some roses in a bush up above, in Southhampton New York.

Why It’s Taken Us So Long to Pick a Wedding Date

July 31, 2019

With this weekend's trip to the Hamptons with The Knot, it erupts conversation about weddings and when my wedding will be. People love to talk about weddings, because it's a life decision and there's common ground chatting with others about love.  If you've been following for a long time, we got engaged in Norway 2 years ago. Yep, you read that right. 2 years ago. No wedding date...yet.

A lot of people have asked me over the years "so when are you getting married?" or "what's your wedding theme?" or "where is your wedding going to be?" All good questions, but some I legitimately had no idea how to answer the past 2 years. For good reason.

My Career Change

The first thing I'll say is that when we got engaged (August 14th 2017) there were a lot of things going on. Biggest being I was attempting to leave my corporate career and pursue blogging and social media full-time. Aaron has been so so supportive of this venture since the very beginning but it was definitely something that required our attention, a lot of financial analysis and a lot of discussion about how to make it work. It's not easy leaving a corporate job when you know that secure bi-weekly income with benefits is no longer a factor in your life. Luckily it was easy to coordinate this when the time came, but it was top of our minds for over a year. 

Buying a Home

Our main focus in 2018 was buying a house, and therefore we were not keen on spending an obscene amount of money on a wedding. It's simply a matter of how we want to spend our money, and I can tell you right now if we could buy a house and do a $40,000 wedding we still wouldn't. Spending that kind of money on one day is not in our cards, and that's okay. We're not judging anyone who chooses to do the extravagant wedding (as long as you invite us HA!) but it's just not for us. Since we knew the home was our biggest purchase together, we were saving our money to make an offer. This is why no planning has happened year to date.

Venue

Now that we're in our house, the next challenge has been finding a venue. With all the work we've put into our new home (if you follow my home insta account you're definitely in the know) we decided to do a lot of paving and landscaping because... we're going to host the wedding in our backyard! After my maid of honor came over to see the progress of pavers, she had some great ideas. Dinner table over there, dance floor over here, DJ here and bar there. It was easy to map out once you had the visual of the spa (which is a pretty big space outside.) For all those who gave me the "oooh sweetie, a wedding in your backyard?" in a condescending way, you're uninvited. Although you probably weren't invited in the first place in all honesty, so no harm no foul right?

I'm curious though. What is it about weddings that make people feel like they can shit all over your ideas, give their judgement and offer you a piece of "their mind"? Just because you got married, and I'm getting married, doesn't mean you have the right to talk in a condescending tone to me because I'm not spending $30,000 on a venue. It always blows my mind when I tell people, and it's why I've been so skeptical doing it. However I know I am relatable in this sense because most people can't afford the extravagant weddings we see in magazines. This is one of the main reasons I decided to partner with The Knot. They want to hear about small weddings. They want to hear about courthouse weddings, backyard weddings, pub weddings, all of it. It's not just the princess fairytale wedding and I'm so thankful they've wanted to share my journey with the US.

Knowing we're doing this in our backyard, I could not be more excited. We want to utilize our beautiful home, the home we worked hard to create for ourselves, and I want to be comfortable on wedding day. I'd love to get ready in my bathroom and walk outside of the bedroom door in a beautiful white dress. Rather than being in a new space and learning where the bathroom is, I want to know where everything is. Not to mention all my bridesmaids have been to my new home, so it won't be a surprise to them. The only difference is going to be the decor covering our entire house. Walking out of my bedroom to sit at a dinner table with 30-40 of my favorite people, to marry the love of my life? That's my dream. We don't all have the same wishes when it comes to our wedding day, but I can wholeheartedly tell you, I wouldn't judge your choice for wedding day. I may ask why you served cod, instead of salmon, but when it comes to the venue and why you wanted to get married where you did... that question wouldn't come from me in such a condescending way. In fact, I find it fascinating when it comes to venue selections. Usually there's a back story, and I'm all for hearing it. Ours? Well we worked our asses off, and we've put in a lot to get the backyard where we want, so we want to utilize the space and show our families and closest friends. Since our wedding will be small, it's the perfect option. 

I'd love to hear all about your experiences with weddings (attendance) or wedding planning. The good, the bad and the ugly. 

What was the best part for you?